Give-Away Eagle, Be Careful WhatYou Wish For

Tenderest of object relations this morning. Our give-away eagles slept in, as late as 7:40, the younger woke the older eventually with an offering of a "chapter book, no pictures, see." Can't completely sidestep the needling curiosity - where am I taking them and why am I leaving them there?

We were generally late, then - Ciaran's rain clothes at school, and his vexation by tardiness, with missing out, compounded by his having to stop action to put on rain gear. Scowls followed.

The scene at Francis's was the more vexing to me: throwing him in to the maelstrom, today, and his unawareness of this. Maybe I was making all that up.

But this distance between events and responses is cozy enough.

If I die today: renaissance of pink clouds

Ciaran, Francis, and I had such a wonderful time visiting so much family in Belleville last week. Highlights included kick the can in the backyard on Friday night, a walk in the graveyard with Jack, Sheila, Trudy, and Barkley the dog which ended up being a walk on a "secret path," through a boggy wooded passage around the edge of the graveyard (Mount Hope) and past several favorite landmarks: magnolia tree, baby deer skull, several mausoleums. Why not host a buy a mausoleum and host Halloween parties inside?

Yesterday, Ciaran, Francis, and I visited our garden space in the Tommy Thompson garden in Burlington. My own space is rather icy lake-like, but there were other less wet walkways. The boys played on the large mountain of dirt/compost and "skimmed" it with the stirrup hoe while I huddled around the warmth of the sun bouncing off the shed. Francis expressed intense desire to leave behind the boomerang which we had brought in to play with, but Ciaran and I protested, and eventually found it laying around on some snow. Francis had decided he no longer wanted it, with the not-so-secret intention of obtaining a new one. He acceded to our plan to bring home the old blue boomerang, abdicating ownership of this oft-struggled over piece of equipment to Ciaran.

changes

well here we are still using the burlington library's computers, very graciously, picking seeds, including CSA crops such as more tomatoes, maybe potatoes, some onions, we already had lots of greens, what else, we might forget something, so this is YOUR chance to remind suggest. And now it is truly possible as i have opened up the comments section. unless you are a computer, which im sad about now, why shouldnt you too get a chance, chances are by the time the vegetables are grown you will be able to eat them. This CSA is serving the Burlington Vermont area I hsould say, and if you know anyone or are anyone who is interested, you just call josh and rachel at 631 457 9003, -

as i said our next step is to order the seed and construct cold frames for which we got (free, from rachels careful perusal of the classifieds) some windows which will hopefully make wonderful, probably more than averagely heat efficient tops, in which we will grow some early greens and hopefully get some starts going - i know echinacia likes it in there, but there are a lot of things that do and well see how much room, also got some free wood from our very nice sublessor I think you'd call her. (rachel doesn't know even tho shes feet away) you know first computer, eat your vegetables

today ive got to call some intervale other farms and see what THEY think of this idea of our pretty radical shift in business plan, to a CSA of thirty or so, they suggested it is what we have heard thus far, but I at least feel the need to feel out the group politics as much as possible, hence the aformentioned calls.

where have all the pink clouds gone

long time passing, right? right dudes? - anywho, were in the midst of this turning open heart farm (rachel and I were the only votes i saw) into its thing on intervale, which will be a two acre thing, - all this while finding a job that works, with re the farm and such, 30 hours would be fine but the question might be which , five days from sun up to down doesnt sound so hot tho it might leave open weekends for market, - which the printer job (these all i should mention go on the spec that i would get one of them) may not cause its thirty six hours in three block shifts, but id probably be able to make a bitchin (excuse) poster,: i should mention that they lindsey and spencer of intervale didnt get the coolness of our heart diagram, id paste it up here if i was using my own computer but im still not, does anyone in the bloggosphere want to donate a labtop and or printer, . . . real test of the bloggosphere there, someplace i can directly beg cause . . . well the chance for you to do a mitzvah, - it seems all to be about the void, at least that's what people ask me about, myself, i don't care. i don't think it would come up much, even if reading blanchot, boy could i tell you a story about all the stuff we are going to plant, its going to require a lot of remay to keep the flea beetles off but i also am going to plant some catnip around, ive been wating for this chance. that's supposed to help and be good for teas, which part of the business i talk alot about if not am drawn to. lots of brassica-y greens, asian, then some tomatos and eggplant and now cullinary herbs as per request of purple shutters, gotta figure out what my list means "B.R.P."??!?!?

the fire this time

the fire this time is we went to intervale its a bit of a frenzy a necktie murder and we got to go do our stuff: which is going to the asian markets and restaurants start looking into what we can count on from them and probably later think about market farmers and . . . no i havent been reading much lately but; this thing is going the way rachel predicted: we are not using pink clouds i think that official life itself the pink cloud and lets just say w are the open heart / double happiness within. or without, without is cool too. im going to spend the rest of time printing to paper a poem, interesting idea isnt it i forgot my camera again and have to get a haircut to look presentable to temp agency and aforementioned markets,

so in seven minutes

let me tell you we are here in burlington, have pretty much settled on open heart something, either farm or operations (which would be really eery right) or something else i forgot. anyways burlington seems pretty cool and our apartment is great, i admittedly have some backlash re the crystal set, and i don't mean meth but the whole quartz or whatever it is that is healing - it's not fair right, to be against the healing, let me sum it up with this book found in sublet: creating abundance subtitle loving money, it wasn't loving money tho, something a bit nicer sounding, well my time is up, i have only the library connection at this point, and lots to do like find out how to renew my passport so i can check out montreal, and here ive done not much on the blog re the whole farms progress but this takes jobs and lifes and books and whatevers alot,

we got hot sauce

we recieved three bottles of hot sauce this holidays (it's our birthdays too) - ranging from the super hot to the mild but what's pretty cool about them beside there seeming variety is the arts that go on them, - we were at a zydeco thing for new years and that explains some of it but my brother-in-law i guess you'd call him, relationaly, Tommy by name, gave us another two bottles from what are aparently cases of microbrew hot sauces in his closet. Anyways also looking up asian markets in Burlington and there seem to be one or two plus one or two more solid Co-op type operations besides another one or two "pacific" restaurants, which I'm informed, also by Tommy (who does some cheffing) is what you call high-class asian restaurants these days: so, we've kinda got at least something to start with, rachel and I. If we were to get two or three solid accounts with this collection that would be great, especially if we did well at one farmers market.

re our name: there are some updates, some pretty serious contenders: Maydar, Maydal, and Open Heart. I was impressed when open heart got the thumbs up from rachel's mom. it's your turn to vote, did i mention that.

getch your bonfire on

in answer to the poll (which i am shocked, by the way, that no one has commented on) i vote reciprocalities; this pretty much based on that for me they end the same, at least mine often, with what seems like kindof a whiz-banger, even if this is often in the form of the not happened whiz banger, "it's over?!?!?" which i guess at least isn't something that happens in novels and certainly not in movies these days or songs of the pop.

2. am i distraught by the blog usage for what had seemed to me a pretty focused farm use - discovering farm in its many forms anyways and then you've gone and written about the poker night and even mentioned the restaurant (and hell, without mentioning the food that much)? no, not terribly. yes. I liked it being about the farm, altho im not sure gary had caught on that that was my initial motive anyways. Um, i also am enjoying the talking to you: so given that im not sure i understand this part of "where is will wheaton,": "i have figured out the strategy, but am too bored with it to apply it - knowing that polarities consist necessarily in everything, would avoiding the application be disingenuous and, as i accused bryan of, erecting before myself an impasse - inextricable from this is the aspect of competition, from which i completely, comprehensively, more or less deliberately, dropped out of many years ago" is this the strategy of poker, life, or something else, or the kind of life that poker games are like. I've enjoyed the gameplaying this past week here in the mid-west (is everyone clear that rachel and I are staying at here mom's house in st louis after having worked our last season at quail hill farm in amagansett new york and furthermore, before the next reel, that we will be moving to burlington, etc, see below: that's probably an etiquette that has been figured out for blogging, what to presume you know, im sure you don't look like an avatar.

anyways i think its clear that pink clouds has no limits, that's why you're invited, this you being rachel, i wouldn't invite anyone that i wanted to put limits on, so you can interpret that as pretty snobby pretty easily. but.

notes on above: gary is our one commentor thus far, i think i left out the part about why/how the games allow me at least to get my game on here, and how the midwest is different, and actually looked really nice today in the sun, as brown as . . . but ill be happy for a bit of cold.

is this the place for a full on discussion of game-ungame, i guess Rachel, my thing with the blog is i try to make it fun for me and the audience, thats right, something im saying about the blog is audience audience audience, - and i sure as shit aint saying you should treat it the same, just that that seems to be how i go about it, thus far, be it meandering as all get out, need not return it doesn't, but THEY are out there or something for me for now. love

wil wheaton where are you

thursday night we went to savor restaurant with 6 others, and

poll: are poems to short stories more like polarities, reciprocalities, or both

i was thinking about this while playing hearts and spades with bryan and liz, and also during the disaster that was poker last week - i seem to feel i have figured out the strategy, but am too bored with it to apply it - knowing that polarities consist necessarily in everything, would avoiding the application be disingenuous and, as i accused bryan of, erecting before myself an impasse - inextricable from this is the aspect of competition, from which i completely, comprehensively, more or less deliberately, dropped out of many years ago -



however, at the restaurant, having three bottles of exquisite red - a barolo, an amarone, and a shiraz (which i normally gag at but not this time) - my sense detail feelers kicked into high gear, and there was the application

and even in reading these alice munro stories, i do get a bit bored once i remember the strategy she's employed - but until then it's fun

josh might disapprove of this use of pink clouds -

list of horror movies to get: saw I, high tension, exorcism of emily rose, new texas chainsaw, saw II -

meanderings

i'm not quite sure i have this figured - a moment ago i looked at the pink clouds through another window and viewed two comments on josh's last post - one by a person named gary and one by myself - in any case, am working some on the blog since josh is using the master business planner book (thanks patty gentry) and i am oozing about still in a bit of malaise - it's finally the weekend for the rest of the world so oh hell

today we saw a nice exhibit at the contemp. museum in st louis - a nice bunch of artists doing different things with portraiture, mainly, and a bit of cindy sherman - but the artists doing different degrees of posing their models, or allowing models to be posing, or themselves becoming their own beloved models (these were the weakest for me, pictures of the artist as lonely artist, camera shutter cord and all so visible)

the best was a split screen video of nightclubbers, individually staged in front of a bright white screen, dancing at buzzclub in london, barely 20s mostly it seemed, with tired beers and all had cigarettes and funky h and m outfits - one woman whose outfit, a belly-button baring dress, turtle-necked, was so confusing, made me confused about anatomy - how the hips or legs could possibly have been moving in cooperation with the belly button - she was shy at first with her arms behind her back then got into it after the first explosive breaking point in that track

they were all discomfortingly like kin

and we ate at a nepali restaurant started by a man with a master's in social work and public health who was tired of seeing so many fat and heart-diseased folks - more or less a less-spicey version of much east indian food i've had, but quite welcome in this week with no name

Is Pink Clouds?

so i was going to look for this blog on the internet, and some of you who know about the internet would have immediate answers for me, should you be able to find me, but more of that to follow, & im not finding the site on my googling of possibilities, but granted i haven't searched thru the blogger network itself.

It did all give an interesting look at what pink clouds is about in the old consciousness, or new one if that is what you call google: the public imagination. We've definitely got some confluence and this is what to think about I guess on the preceding towards name: exhibit A is pink clouds a fractal thing. i didn't know but im like "cool," after all, as i mentioned reading the math thing, done some math in past, and happy to remember the self similar thing, which at the time i first heard it was already a happy coincidence with the thousand golden lions in each hair of a golden lion statue of some buddhist text. that all beside the point except to say there are the fractal pink clouds, but yet they exist again, and in an organic farm context to boot, i see on my google search, at meadowland farm (i think it was called) in washington state on the blog of selfsame farm there is a picture of what the person called pink clouds, and here i thought at the time i first thought it that these things didn't at least yet exist, sounded kinda sci-fi and were patterns, maybe, maybe just a pretty sequined picture.

Other sites was the joshua may philosophy site, kinda metaphysics stuff, not me you should know, and a cool quote collection link that produced this: "A kiss about palm trees speeding by, trailing pink clouds when you drive down the Strip sizzling with champagne. A kiss about spotlights fanning the sky and the swollen sea spilling like tears all over your legs." Dangerous Angels by Francesca Lia Block which im not yet sure (will search) is a real book or not

let's just say pink clouds is starting to bring us into the fractal dimensions of unicorns existence levels and such.

to be fair ive just started my research of lia block, seems to exist.

on to the more exciting farm aspects which will of course become increasingly more important, we just got our richters catalog, that, while i have read varying reports on their quality, certainly do sell alot of herbs, more than rachel and I will need for the first year, and i think we can stick to the safe ones. some that i saw upon perusal that i was really down with are: chamomile, echinacea, feverfew, lavender, I mean the list could go on and on. so we will probably stick to ten or twenty i would guess that can be used in teas or salves - oh, wasabi was one that i don't think I can pass up on, - as I may or may not have mentioned we are having an asian theme and obviously . . . we also went to an asian market here in belleville illinois yesterday, they were selling stuff from mexico and cali that didn't look to appealing: daikon, bok choi, napa cabbage. The store on the whole was really cool though and we did get buckwheat soba noodles (lots of suprise protein), more later

photos?

the beginning

so, this is like the beginning of pink clouds the blog, not necessarily pink clouds the farm, because that is more a name in progress even tho the website is as permanent . . . well thats hardly in stone these days either, now is it?

so i was saying rachel and i are moving to vermont burlington in a matter of days, and we hope to have an incubator farm in burlinton's intervale program (i wont be providing links (i mean that's like so 04)) (note to self-others: what about So Farm) and we've done a bit of farming on long island, the end of it, for three years, and as I've just gotten some pictures of our time there from someone I'll put at least one or two up of Quail Hill, hopefully with one or both of us in it. You should know, don't sell these pictures, they are copyrighted by photographer, kathryn szoka, there youve have had what she told me and she probably thought at the time i wasn't very blog inclined in the first place but . . . alas so we are trying to start this farm which may or may not be attached to intervale, probably in any case is going to have alot of oriental veggies (greens, radishes, eggplant) but also lots of other stuff and possibly eventually a growing herbs thing, both native to vermont and oriental.

so, indeed, one could tell you one's whole story on the first night of blogging, but i daresay that wouldn't leave one much to say later, and i'm not sure there is a whole story, i just finished a book mentioned godel's incompleteness theory, no (mathematical system/lang) can ever be complete and same with the partial cyborgs (Harraway)

so these are things to think about when/as we are trying to come up with the farm name, one previous name is unmentionable (talk about a teaser (go find that out private eye)) and another was aleph, which is a transfinite number from the afforementioned book (david foster wallace) and a hebrew letter which might have made a neat symbol but rachel and I are thinking is too "heady"

(i should mention I hope in coming days she will be on this thing dialoging if not discoursing (ie with you out there in, urg, i hate to use such a candied word, the bloggosphere)

extras: pink clouds hopes to have some online herb distribution, it would be all organic and about two acres.

take it away